The craving of unhealthy control can be expressed in various ways. My experiences dealing with my own impulse and ministering to other show me several traits that shows the needs of control. Of course this list would show my own bias and tendencies.
- Control freak – the derogatory name for people with tendencies to controlling everything, to dictate how everything to be done
- Legalism – the believe that your salvation and welfare comes from following the law; By obeying, we hope to control the result.
- Performance Orientation: the believe that your worth and welfare are depending on your performance and result. We hope to control our self worth based on our performance.
- Addiction: the effort to run from pain or searching for pleasure. We hope to control our pain by looking for diversion. Soon the need for the diversion overcome our self-control.
- Compulsive Obsessive Pattern: repeated pattern of thought and behaviour produced by intrusion of obsessive thought that force someone to act compulsively – even illogicaly and irrationally. We hope to control the anxiety caused by the obsessive thought with our behaviour.
- Perfectionism: addicted to high and often unrealistic standar. We hope to control our fear of failure and fear of rejection by flaunting our excellent ideas and workmanship.
- Workaholic: addicted to work. We hope by getting busy we will get what we want.
- Faith/Success Theology: the believe that we can be or have anything we want by invoking the almighty. I am not against the faith or the success element, but the believe that universe revolve around our needs.
- The Secret – see above. The secular version of Success Theology (or vice versa)
That’s the list that close to my heart. I am struggling in my perfectionism, obsessive and addictions. What’s yours?
Coming Up: The Seductions of Control #4 – Relationship & Control